How do you view the sex life of college students?

lovedollshops
9 min readApr 7, 2021

Because “how to treat college students’ sex life” does not constitute a basic statement question at all, this question is our common sense, and the question of common sense has no meaning to answer at all.

For example, “How to treat things when you are hungry”, “How to treat you to sleep when you are sleepy”, and “How to treat you to wear more clothes when it is cold” are our common sense. Starting from the simplest reason, we all know This is our physiological mechanism that prompts our actions. How do we think about it? Do you still have to look at discrimination or praise? “Wow, you have to sleep when you are sleepy, despise you.” “Wow, it’s great to eat when you are hungry!” Don’t you think so weird?

“Sexual behavior” is our normal physiological behavior. When we become sexually mature, we will naturally have such a sexual impulse, which will also prompt us to complete the action of sexual behavior. If you have no sexual drive or fantasies at all, which is called “frigidity” in medicine, you should go to the hospital for a check to see if you have no secretion of certain hormones and treat it in time.

Then I thought about it again when I was visiting Zhihu. With the opening up of the times, our concepts are constantly strengthening, so that we will not “talk about sex change” like our parents’ generation, but the conservative concept of sex education still affects our generation. Profoundly, most of the domestic classmates’ sex knowledge is obtained from various pirated teachers in neighboring countries. There are parents bound before high school. After going to college and leaving the supervision of parents, wrong sex education may cause everyone to make mistakes. Sexual concepts and dangerous behaviors are as small as the “feeling” that everyone seems to be accustomed to, to the tragedy that affects one’s life… the reason is that they have not received correct sex education and guidance.

So I think the main purpose of the subject should be to use this question to give some advice to the college students. As a senior who came over (cough cough…), maybe these sexual concepts can help you establish correct sexual awareness and behavior.

1. Correct understanding

Influenced by our parents’ generation, when we talk about “sex”, we always associate it with “shy, unspeakable, unspeakable”, and even more so with “dirty, indecent, unspeakable”.

As long as we talk about the topic of “sex”, it is always that boys laugh wryly, girls blush, and their parents are in their throats… In fact, this is all caused by some wrong sexual concepts.

I remember that when I was studying abroad, I once discussed the topic of first night with bro. My roommate asked me when I was “first time”.

“About 20…21?” Anyway, my answer was a blushing heartbeat.

I will never forget the expression of my roommate. After hearing my answer, he thought about it, and then asked me very seriously:

“Why so late?”

Later, I learned that in European countries, their first night was on average 16 years old, and it was around 13 years old earlier. If you don’t have any sexual experience before the age of 18, it’s easy to be ridiculed by others and even feel “ what’s wrong with u?” This is just the opposite of that in China.

Of course, I am not advocating this behavior. Thanks to the perfect sex education system in European countries, the acceptance and openness of sex is of course earlier than us. Of course, while they can feel the beauty of sex earlier, it also increases the risk. , I think when we are 18 or older and are legally grown-ups, we can enjoy the beauty of sex generously.

Sex is not an act of not being able to see the light or shame, it is one of the most basic desires of our human beings, and it is the same as a series of physical behaviors such as eating, sleeping, heartbeat and so on. We can discuss sexual issues generously, actively, and without concealment. You must clearly understand that this is a part of your life that you must experience, and early theoretical preparation will help you in your future practice.

2. Correctly understand both sexes

Remember this concept: In terms of sexuality, there is no difference between men and women. It is not that women have three obediences to four virtues. Following “female virtues” is a so-called rotten and dross concept.

Both at home and abroad, the issue of sexual behavior between men and women is consistent: men can share their rich sexual behaviors wantonly, and even get praise and admiration, but most women will be insulted and discriminated against, and the general public will Kidnap women from a higher moral perspective.

When I was studying abroad, I often heard roommates sharing their sexual behaviors. Boys would share these topics with great relish. In addition to discussing their wonderful sexual behaviors, some insults to women would also appear. Anyway may be just a joke. I think it’s understandable to share your own experience, but don’t create misconceptions about the sexes.

A domestic female friend of mine is studying TESOL in India. She usually sees her as a scholar, shuttles between the library and the classroom, busy with papers and seminars, but I tell you, she will be from different countries, with different skin colors, What do you think about having sex with a stranger who is not limited to gender three times?

When I first heard her share, I was shocked. I was shocked that there was such a “wild” soul hidden under her so “serious” appearance, but in her calm and calm expression, I was shocked. Like a clown who has never seen the world, I was as cautious and nervous. After listening to her sharing, I not only understood her a little bit more, I even envied her a little bit.

I believe you all love to share some gossip in the dormitory. Both boys and girls are very interested in emotional matters. What I want to tell you is that if you hear some rumors, especially about girls’ sex In terms of behavior, don’t pretend to add your own comments, such as “bus, real show, shameless” and other subjective judgments, let alone isolate, attack, ridicule and other violent behaviors. This is just the way others choose. , You can disagree with her approach, you can also disagree with her, but don’t set yourself up with the wrong gender cognition, let alone inexplicably hurt a stranger who hasn’t hurt your personal interests.

3. Safe sex

Both boys and girls must ensure safety before having sex.

The simplest safety measure is condoms, one is effective contraception, and the other is to greatly reduce the risk of AIDS.

Of course, everyone knows that when you dry firewood…maybe you ignore this link, but don’t blame it on dry firewood. It’s a question of consciousness. It’s the same as washing your hands before eating. As long as you develop this habit, You will naturally know that you are “preparing for the action” before the behavior begins.

For the young of us, don’t take this as “dispensable”. Whether you are experienced or new, sexual safety is very important. Let me tell you a piece of data around me, in my friend of the opposite sex ( Among women), 80% of female friends have one or more abortion experiences. Although medicine is advanced, abortion is not necessarily harmful, but for women, it has more or less impact on your own body. , It’s just that your young body mechanism has not yet exposed the remaining problems. In addition to the physical damage, the more serious is the psychological damage. According to my friends of the opposite sex, after they have had a baby, they all have a short-term psychological depression. It took a period of self-repair. A friend even thought about suicide during that period, and finally saw a psychiatrist for guidance.

Women need to know how to protect themselves, but it does not mean that men take the blame. If you really love this girl or boy, you should care and love her/him from all aspects.

4. Correct understanding of masturbation

In 2013, Sun Yat-sen University launched a masturbation survey in “Zhong University Youth”. The survey showed that 85.86% of college students surveyed had masturbation behavior. It is worth mentioning that there is a big difference between male and female students’ masturbation behavior, and the proportion of male masturbation is as high as 96. %, more than 30% of girls.

As for whether masturbation is harmful to health, I did not study this carefully. After all, I am not a medical student. My personal opinion is “moderately.” Too frequent will make you trance, too little will make you too lustful, according to your own body Just come and make adjustments.

For college students, I think masturbation needs to pay attention to two points: one is privacy; the other is female cognition

Let me talk about privacy first. Why do you want to say this? Because when I was in college, I went back to the dormitory at noon and found my roommate was lying on the bed… Then we looked at each other like this, and we were suddenly embarrassed. I don’t know what to say. I feel that we both wanted to find a hole in the ground. I personally recommend that you really don’t masturbate in public areas like the dormitory. One is hygiene, and the other is to avoid the embarrassment of being hit.

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The second point is female cognition. Because of the differences in physiological structure, women are indeed not as “convenient” in masturbating than men, but it is not impossible. The reason why I want to say this is when I was watching sex education. In one episode, Aimee Gibbs and her boyfriend’s sex life was unsatisfactory. Simply put, Aimee Gibbs couldn’t feel the pleasure, so she went to ask Otis what to do. Otis’s advice to her was, “You have to explore yourself first. You can communicate with your boyfriend well because of your body.” So Aimee Gibbs tried to find his own pleasure by masturbating. After communicating with her boyfriend, the problem was solved.

The act of masturbation is completely personal and private. Whether male or female, there is no need to alienate masturbation or morally kidnap yourself. As Otis said, “You have to understand your body before others can understand you. “

Last sex is actually a profound knowledge and one of our compulsory courses in life. As contemporary college students, we should treat sex in a correct way and learn more theoretical knowledge through formal channels, so as not to be like us. Parents “talk about sex change” and correctly give our next generation better, more transparent, and more comprehensive sex education.

Similarly, sexual behavior is entirely a personal choice. We can disagree, dislike, or disapprove of other people’s choices, and we can give advice to others through communication, but we must not cause unnecessary trouble to others through our own words and deeds; We have the right to say “no” at any time for unsafe, extreme, and illegal sexual behaviors.

I recommend everyone to watch Sex Education, a very good-looking British drama. It tells Otis is a little boy who lacks sexual experience. He has no sexual experience at the age of 16, and even dare not even masturbate. Their high school classmates laughed at him, but his mother is a doctor of sex studies, so he started to teach his mother and opened a “sex self-study room” project in the school, so that everyone can make money while solving various sexual problems. Every episode There are all kinds of sexual problems waiting to be solved. The plot climaxes one after another. While appreciating the large scale, the drama also transmits a lot of positive sexual knowledge, which is worth feasting our eyes on.

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